After 9 beautiful years together, my partner Victor and I got married on April 6, 2024. The wedding was a dream come true.
I’ve been playing with the idea of starting a blog on this website and the wedding gives me a perfect excuse to do so! I wanted to share the wonderful photos we got from the photographer Marcu Photography and processes of making my gowns.
We were playing with the idea of keeping it small and eloping. But the more we thought about it, we decided that after almost a decade of producing burlesque events- followed by the isolating years of COVID- it would be meaningful to use my event planning skills and connections to plan a fun wedding; it would mean that much more to be able to bring together our friends and family to celebrate our nuptials.
Wedding Dress
I first considered purchasing my gowns off the rack to save myself any grief. But of course, as I thought about all the details I would love in my dress, it became apparent that they would be hard to find off-rack. With a sigh, I knew there wasn’t any other option but to make them all myself. At least I already made myself a perfected corset pattern! Settling with the idea, I decided to make as many steps in this gown-making venture as meaningful as I could. I promptly booked a trip to Montreal and New York City to look for my perfect fabric.
My dream wedding dress is a Vivienne Westwood style a-line with a draped silhouette of a crisp taffeta-like fabric. I am not big on lace or sparkle on myself, but I decided to add a polka-dot overlay because my partner Victor adores when I wear polka-dot. In terms of colour, I loved dove grey-toned wedding gowns- and how pretty would a white polka-dot overlay be over a very light grey? I knew the best place to get my fabric was Mood Fabric in Manhattan. After about 6 hours looking through the wedding-whites section, I decided to get this crisp silk/viscose fabric with a metallic sheen. I bought 10 yards of it and held my breath at the cash desk - the total for this fabric could have been the price of a new dress itself! I felt like this made the marriage a lot more real.
I decided to go with a draped asymmetrical corset top style with a full pleated circle skirt with a train. After I finished the dress, I was left with only 0.2 yards left. I’m very good at stressing myself out with how well I can estimate fabric amounts for a project! Photos of some progress, and some gems with my mother and my assistant Zyryll and maid of honor helping me drape my sleeves:
I wanted a long veil with bows down the back. One of my first fashion inspirations since I was a child was Princess Angelica from children’s novel The Rose and the Ring by William Makepeace Thackeray. On one of the first pages there is this drawing of her with ribbon bows through her hair. I used this gorgeous veiling from my favorite fabric shop in Montreal and added 9 bows made with the same polka-dot; one for each year Victor and I have been together. My mother made the veil for me and my assistant Zyryll made the bows.
My fashion school teacher and old studio neighbour Bridget Smatlan made my garter with scraps from the wedding dress. This was really great as I made her garter for her wedding many years ago. My good friend Kaneesha’s partner Dylan caught it, and is now a perfect costume piece as she is a clown and the garter makes a perfect ruff! Cute!
The Cheongsam
It was important to me to incorporate my heritage through the wedding. I designed the Cheongsam (the traditional Chinese mandarin collar dress) to have a pink scalloped corset and skirt with a red eyelash lace overlay. There is a mandarin collar and flutter sleeves for comfort. I also added long red tassels that come off my shoulders. My younger brother Judah sewed the covered buttons down the front of the dress. My good friend Beau gave me a matching red ostrich boa that we cut and pinned into my hair to complete the look.
One wish I’ve always had was to make my cheongsam and have performers in my local community gather to help me rhinestone it. A bit of a full circle moment when I’ve made costumes for them. I had a total of 16 community members over 3 weeks come in the evenings for fun chats and bonding. It took almost 70 hours of rhinestoning and 20,000 rhinestones to cover the dress. As a first-generation Canadian Chinese women, I often have a hard time connecting with my heritage. The fact that I was able to have my beautiful community be part made the process of making this traditional dress that much more important to me. Thank you Justin, Beau Creep, Drew, Stretcher Hymen, Judah, CallmeKeeks, Abigail LeVay, Vira Von Velvet, Fanny LuPhine, Jizz Elle, Onika Xtravaganza, Violette Coquette, Audra Dacity, Stella Darling, Evangeline Cachet and Zyryll ♥︎
The Ceremony
We did a civil ceremony, officiated by my long time friend Nic. They wrote a beautiful ceremony that started with a very thoughtful land acknowledgement. Victor wore a dark purple velvet suit jacket and the groomsmen had bowties to match. I knew it was the right decision to make my own dresses, as I can see how proud everyone was of me and they finally seen what I worked so hard on for months as I walked down the aisle. My maid of honor Natalia made her own dress- we have always bonded over hand-sewing and creating together. I also made my bridesmaid Lilly’s dress as we had a hard time finding a dress for her. A pinky-lavender column dress with bows at the shoulders. Thankfully we found a dress for Rebekka and her daughter Elle Freya who was the flower girl. There was no way I could have made any more dresses! My brothers capped off the wedding party.
The Tea Ceremony
During the last half of cocktail hour, we had a Chinese tea ceremony. A tea ceremony is a Chinese tradition wherein the bride and groom serve tea to their respective families, including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other esteemed elders. The couple receives well wishes and gifts, and its an act of welcoming either the bride or the room, thereby unifying both families.
Again it was really amazing to wear my cheongsam that me and my community worked so hard on. To offer tea to my elders wearing it felt so powerful. Victor got to wear a mens cheongsam that my mother gave to him. My family is a matriarchy of very fierce and strong women, it was the first time all the women were together with me. It was also so great to have important members of Victors family experience this tradition.
The Reception
The reception had to be a exciting soiree full of entertainment. Our good friend Letabby Lexington MCed the evening. To start, we were introduced as a married couple entering the room by Chinese lion dancers doing a 10 minute performance. As a burlesque costume designer, it was a no-brainer that I had to have a cabaret portion. The cabaret started with Jay Flair, an incredible magician. Followed by Onika Xtravaganza one of my favourite drag performers who did an amazing act to “Is that Alright” by Lady Gaga. One of my best friends Beau Creep did an act to Rufus Wainwright, a gorgeous act that showed my family queer excellence. And to cap it off, an award winning number by Violette Coquette, a long time muse who did her roses act that ends with a rose skirt that fans out around her. I realized it was the first time a lot of both our families seen the work I do in action and they were absolutely delighted. It was just the most beautiful day full of memories.
Wedding Vendor credits
The wedding ran itself because of all the professional help. It was a pleasure working with all our vendors and I highly recommend them all! Because of them we had the most beautiful day and was able to focus on what mattered most.
Venue: Studio 96
Florals: Florans
Wedding Cake: Wildrose Cakes
Catering: A Cappella Catering
Photography: Marcu Fotography
Music: DJ Kena Leon
Lion Dancer Team: Jingying Arts
Grooms party hair and prep: The Refuge
Brides hair: Kerri Randolph
Brides Nails: Glow Beauty
